How do you know?

[Christie M]

OK, this is a morbid topic for sure. But I think its slightly therapeutic and I think that it is interesting to find out how each person comes to the conclusion to say goodbye to a four-legged family member.

My oldest will be 15 on March 1. I have had days when I say "If he doesn't feel better tomorrow, then its the day." Tuesday night I said "He is no longer having good days, just occasional good moments." So for me, that was the realization that led me to schedule Dante's euthanasia for Wed afternoon/evening. Fortunately/unfortunately, the vet called at 7pm to say she couldn't come and it would have to be yesterday....which wasn't OK with me for many reasons so it had to be today.

Keep in mind, at no point have I felt like he as truly suffering. But he is quite cognitively deficient and I don't think he's ever really comfortable. The last 2 weeks, he has been more and more withdrawn and stationary.

This AM, he rallied. He is better than he has been in quite some time. Honestly, if things had occurred Wednesday, I wouldn't have regretted it, knowing what an amazing life he had. I would be grief stricken, but would know that I did the right thing. I don't want him to suffer through a truly bad day, but I couldn't put him down today, on one of his best. So each day will be a new evaluation and a gift.

But how does everyone make that painful decision?

I know a tech I used to work with was very methodical. That's how it was right for her. She would list her animals 3 favorite things. When they were no longer interested in 2 of those, that was the day. Like I mentioned earlier, when I realized that he no longer had good days, for me that was the day (although it didn't end up that way).

So does anyone have a clear cut method that works for them? That sounds wrong. Does anyone have a systematic approach that allows them to deal with the hurt that is associated with the decision?

[leih merigian]

So does anyone have a clear cut method that works for them? That sounds wrong. Does anyone have a systematic approach that allows them to deal with the hurt that is associated with the decision?

First of all, Christie, you have my heartfelt sympathy to be at this decision point in his and your lives right now.

Those two questions are totally different things to me. Knowing when is the right time, versus how to deal with the hurt.

I've never had to go thru this decision yet, but I've thought a lot about it, and what I've come up with is when the dog can no longer eat, sleep, and/or eliminate comfortably, it's time. Of course, a dog who is in a great deal of discomfort or pain with no joy, well, that would also ring the bell for me.

I guess feeling you've made the right decision at the right time, while it wouldn't lessen the pain of the loss, would relieve you of any doubt about having shorted him of time he deserved to have.

So sorry...

[Schlussdibusti]

i think as long as they eat, pee and poop, they want to live.

My Ben, the Lab I lost in 2010 due to bone cancer, stopped eating and 3 days later he was gone. I slept the last three nights next to him on the floor since he was too weak to get on my bed. When I woke up the third morning he was gone, peacefully.

My Jerry, the other senior Lab, is scaring me some days, when he doesn't want to get out of the car to join me and Marco on a walk but he always wants to come with us. So I take him, if he walks with us, okay, if he wants to stay in the car, okay too. Being with us is the most important thing and not being left behind. Today he was swimming like a mad man, tomorrow he might sleep all day. I let him do whatever he wants, god knows how long I have with him. I hope he does go, like his buddy Ben, on his own, peacefully.

Nature has its own way to take care of these things if we give it time.

And now I need some

[alspyce]

I am so very sorry that you are having to make this horrible decision. The time, I believe, is a very personal thing and is different depending on the circumstances.

I have had to put many down---never lucky enough for them to just go on their own. It seem my dogs "let me know" by the look in the eye/face that they have had enough. When that spark of joy is gone as you call their name and they just look at you like "Mom, I'm just too damn tired." Or the "please don't make me" look. (The same with my horses.)

I tried to save my daughters Boxer who had AIHA. I can tell you I would never put another dog through that!
If I ever had that diagnosis again, I would put the animal down then and there, and know it was best.

Obviously if they are no longer eating, as with my Carrie who had Liver issues, I wanted her to go while she still had dignity and before she had suffering or sever weight loss. But I had her, and she was very happy, for a full year more than the Vet thought she had, by diet management and herbal help.

My heart goes out to you----hopefully he will rally and you can have a bit more of this precious time with him. Thoughts and Prayers for both of you.

[Lauren]

I am sorry that you are having to make this decision. Because they have ups and downs it is such a hard one.

My deciding it is time is based on their enjoyment of the things that they have always enjoyed and as alspyce says, that look that says "I'm done". If they are still happy, and at least trying to do the things they love than they still have quality of life.

I do not let them starve. My father believes that they will just stop eating and go when they are ready. it is very painful for them to have to starve themselves on top of everything else they are going through. He just can not bring himself to put them down. I have watched them starve days and sometimes weeks after I think the had enough.

I think that euthanasia is one of the greatest gifts we can give our pets. I wish someone could do it for me one day.

[alspyce]

Have you tried any supplements with him?

Pet-Tinic is a pretty good "pick me up" for the older dogs. (expensive tho, but I start with at least one 4oz. bottle anyway). I like the Nutripetrin liquid vitamins, or Fidonutrients liquid. (both the same ingredients)

Some extra Vit. C (I use 1,000 mg. of powdered C in the water every day.) is a mild natural pain reliever and mild diuretic (also seems to perk them up a bit); Milk Thistle for liver function; Enzymes/Yogurt for digestion; colostrum for immune system, etc.

Older dogs often need a bit more nutritional support. Just a thought.

[Sugars Mom]

Christie, I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. It is soo hard to let go and I can understand how hard this decision is. (Just went through a long difficult illness with my Mom, watching her deteriorate, and my Dad caring for her for all these years, clinging to the brief cognitive good moments )

All I can say is my thoughts are with you during this very difficult time.

Here is what was written on one of the sympathy cards sent to me that helps me:

Her Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of her as gone away-
her journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets-
this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she's touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost-
for she was loved so much.

E. Brenneman

[vneerland]

So does anyone have a clear cut method that works for them? That sounds wrong. Does anyone have a systematic approach that allows them to deal with the hurt that is associated with the decision?

Sorry about the dillemma. I think most of us have been there. And remember it is always easier to see for someone else, than it will ever be for your own animal. No matter how long you have been making the decisions, it never ever gets easy.
So here is what I do. I fret, just like the rest of the world, and look at friends and family and try to read their minds, which never helped. I do not hurry though. And when the time comes? You'll know! It will all of a sudden be clear as day, no more questions, no more second guessing. The stress of wanting to do the right thing will slide off, and you can face it and not hurt too much in hindsights, since you went as far as you could, without going too far.
I am sure that the level is individually determined. It has to fit you, your situation and your personality.
So stop feeling guilty about another day, another week, and face it: you will get to the point where the obvious will finally be obvious. Before that point, don't beat yourself up. Saying the long goodbye is hard enough without the self inflicted pain of misplaced guilt.
Hang in there, keep going and then some time, sooner or later, you will know. Just like that.

[k9katet]

What Judith said. And when you get to that point - it is the right time. Maybe that point is different for someone else. But it doesn't matter. It's your dog and your heart and you do what is best for your dog. We all worry that we won't know but we do but not until that time comes.

[GSDNanny]

I agree with so many here also that cherish and enjoy the time you have right now, dont let it be clouded or burdened with making a decision. The time comes and you just know. I wish you comfort at that time.

January 5th, I lost my 'heart dog', my old GSD that was my ultimate companion. We traveled all over training and competing in numerous dog sports, we tried just about everything. If she and I were having fun, we stayed with it. If either decided it was not our cup of tea, we moved on. She knew what I was thinking. I could read her like a book. Most of the time I never spoke but she read me.

She suffered that last year with cancer. I thought at first it was EPI but ruled that out. That last month, she was progressively going down and then she rebounded, was playing and chasing the water from the hose, horseplaying with the younger dogs. Four days later, she would not leave her bed. I saw it in her eyes and made the appt with my vet friend for that Fri afternoon when I got off work. Well, during the night on Thurs, Zena made that matter easy for me and slipped away in her sleep. Somehow she just knew.....and the decision was made for me. She has left pawprints on my heart that will last forever. I really miss her. RIP Zena.

[leih merigian]

Denise, I am so very sorry.

Your words were a beautiful tribute to a wonderful relationship and amazing dog.

And Christie, I think Judith said it best...