RIP Mokume

[feraloup]

I haven't been on the forum in several years. Life has been beyond chaotic, being a single mother and running a small homestead, moving households (all farm animals included!) more than once, in addition to working a job, and, let's be honest, having a Dutch Shepherd family member! ❤ I just haven't had the time or energy to keep up an,online presence, here. But you all and this forum were family and support while I navigated adding a DS to my life. Yesterday, we had to bid goodbye to our adored Moko. He was seven and a half and I expected to have had at least another 7 years with him. I'm crushed by his loss. He navigated all the above life chaos by my side, yes, complicating it and adding to it as much as he supported me in it, *lol* but he was ours for life. Never in my life have I worked with a more intense animal, and I have worked with many species over the years, including primitives, ferals, non-domestics, and a wide variety of pets and farm animals. Not another one comes close to the challenges and rewards, or taught me as much, as my brindled chaos-demon. He was a liability and a management issue, and more than once over his life I questioned what I had gotten myself into when I took on responsibility for such a creature. But for all his challenges, he loved as intensely as he did everything else in life. His fierce devotion to those he called family and his intelligence and raw vibrancy had no compare. My life is going to be much quieter and simpler in the days and weeks to come as we adjust to this gaping hole in our household, but so very much LESS. Not right away, because I need time and space, but absolutely, for sure, I will be taking another Dutch Shepherd into my life because having had Moko as part of it, I can't NOT. He became unexpectedly ill over Christmas, vomiting and refusing food. More terrifying than that, because that alone can happen for any number of reasons, was his uncharacteristic meakness. Loco-Moko doesn't DO "meek." He didn't bark at other dogs barking in the neighborhood, he padded quietly at my side on loose-draped leash during potty outings, he didn't spin and bark and put on a show when another dog walker came into view. This was what scared me, so. I brought him to the vet first thing yesterday morning, by yesterday evening, the decision was made to let him rest, rather than put him through an invasive surgery that, at best case, would involve a lot of discomfort and very difficult management in recovery, given his customary demeanor, and at worst case could result in a decision to euthanize him mid-surgery depending on what they found once in. All aside from the fact that it would be thousands of dollars I don't have. If his odds of full successful recovery were better, I would have found a way to work out the financial piece, but quality of life will always take priority over simple existence of life, and I made the crushing decision to let him go. I came and snuggled him and told him how much he was adored and he slipped away in my lap, with our longtime vet, who knew him well, easing his passage. We brought his body home, so our other animals could have closure, we didn't want them searching for him in the days to come, wondering where he went or when he'd come home. And now my son and I, and Freyja, (old lady Maiyou, the NGSD/Pitt mix who helped raise Moko predeceased him at 16, three years ago,) are trying to comfort each other through this sudden and unwelcome stillness in our house.

[centrop67]

What a very touching tribute to your chaos-demon. I am so sorry for your loss.

RIP Moko.

[Tim91118]

Thanks for sharing your loss. Hope someday another Dutch will fill the void.

[ladyjubilee]

I'm so sorry to hear of Moko's passing.

[Laplaiefier]

That huge hollow. Our time of sorrow was just over a year ago and it still feels like just a while ago. They can't be replaced but at least another can let you live those happy times anew remembering the joy that the last one brought.

[Joxgirl]

I’m so sorry for your loss.